É k ó Girl Diaries 4 ~ Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always

It’s been another long minute and as usual, I am sorry that I have played gone girl for so long especially after leaving you in a cliffhanger in episode 3. You will figure out why I took another mini-sabbatical as you read on. A part of me can't wait to finish this series but my greatest fear is learning and discovering new things and not being able to share them with you. This episode isn't particularly sharing anything about my lagos living, it is a tell-all from my weeks of ghosting and a look into what my life has become now that I have experienced a change. You will later realize that today's post is not basically about anything but more like a wind down at a beerhouse after a long long day of work.

NEVER would I have envisioned the melancholy that comes with the end of this series drawing closer. I only pray it gradually wears out and who knows if I get the time I could start a whole new story. While É k ó Girl series is gradually coming to an end; forgive me for making this sound like a TV show, I have devised other means to keep you entertained and wanting more. I will try my hardest to share new things in any post I put up. 

First the good news! I got a job. It is not mighty fancy but it's a great one and a good supplement to the income. I had been looking to work a second job for the greater part of last year. Now this one will be the boost I need to get back into the professional world of heading into a workspace every day to proffer a solution however little to improve the human condition. With this job, I know it will be easy to be that my authentic self that bothers about my voice being heard. Thank God for small miracles or how do they say it again. While I try not to chuck my successes to hard work alone I am sure God constantly looks out for me and is very much interested in my life. The sweet thing about the job is that it's not ao far away from home hence Helen - 20, Traffic - 0. This was my greatest fear because the claustrophobia that comes alone from sitting in a bus or taxi for hours before getting to work or getting home after work is not for me. My colleagues complain of getting home hours after they leave the office and for the ones that stay farther they live and breathe in the traffic that is Lagos. I don't even get to spend a lot the days I decide to dump my baby girl lifestyle and hop on a bike; only problem I have with the bike men in this town is the constant need they feel to be 'Jason Statham' behind their two wheeled-vehicles. No helmets and you want to ride like transporter hell no! For now it's a love-hate relationship that might not go away soon think of a pain in the behind but a pain you can endure. The only downside to this is having to figure what to wear every single day of the week. I envy my former life of dwelling for hours and days in ratty shorts and big t-shirts, somedays I never bother with a bath until after noon. Now I am up at 6AM running to meet up with my timebook and lugging unfinished work in both my laptops. Growing up is the easiest trap to fall prey to because the cycle of adulthood never really ends.

RARELY do I ever get to lose my cool but like a tweep said the other day, 'To survive in Lagos, you need the technical know-how to switch from “Hello” to “Wetin dey happen” to “Sholoriburuku ni iya e ni?”.  I will try to translate; 'Wetin dey happen ' - is the normal pidgin lingo for 'Wassuppp', 'Sholoriburuku ni iya e ni?' - is rather vulgar and is Yoruba for 'your mother must be an unfortunate being'. This range is pretty important because you have to devise the means to come off as someone suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) with 10 to 20 different personalities exhibiting themselves at different times. Here's what this implies; as a resident of Lagos, you have to be able to adapt to any situation you find yourself in. Be nice to whoever is nice and be aggressive to whoever needs aggression. For the people that get my drift love and light - a lot of it because that’s all we surviving on here and may our sanity remain intact.

A story to let you in on the subtle gist in this paragraph......

I am what most people called reserved, the chances that I react or get into an altercation with anyone physically or otherwise are very slim. This is because I can't fight for the life of me but I am pretty resourceful when it comes to talking bad to people. Another thing is I am very okay with waiting my turn and if for any reason I need to jump a queue it must be pressing. When this guy thought it absolutely cool to jump the line at this foodspot I went to for lunch the other day and I tried to make him see reasons why what he did was not acceptable but he wouldn't' budge, my other personality reared its ugly head. Now as I type this I am proud but not so proud of how I handled the situation. I think the one thing that diffused the anger was how this lady in front went like "Madam no vex na, you too fine to dey drag with this yeye man". She instantly appealed to my other better half and I came back to my senses almost at once. Moral of this anecdote is that: It's kind of cool when people underestimate you because you can show them what’s up.

SOMETIMES I think to myself that there’s nothing attractive about Lagos outside of employment opportunities. This place is a slum and a constant reminder that life is nota bed of roses. Unfortunately, most of the stories you hear are about money seekers not money finders because the people that have this money don’t even do the most. I am not trying to glamourize overworking please the absence of a life outside work, sleep, relaxation and time out with friends and family isn't something to be applauded. The grass is greener in some parts but not so green. If it seems greener then its probably astro turf because that's how deceiving life in Lagos can be. It was the great Maya Angelou who penned "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." She was talking about striving to be the best in all you do. Even though my best looks like Lagos now, I am striving the hardest to level up and just quit here. As motivational as this goes I will continue to socially distance myself from anything or anyone that will drain my energy.

ALWAYS the avid reader and movie junkie what comes to mind this period where I am struggling with time and trying to figure out If I can still keep up with reading or watching my TV shows and how much other things non-work related I can achieve in a week is just to slow down and really chill whenever I can. Drafting every other thing I do for work is particularly tiring especially on days like today where I have to attend maybe 3-4 meetings and still find the time to do real work. The overwhelming feeling I get every day of the week is largely associated with the fact that I now work out of my bedroom. The added difficulty I am experiencing from manifesting my baby girl lifestyle will definitely push me to jump at any chance I get to go out and have fun when I can. Color me surprised but I love to see me have a life! For starters this weekend, I am looking forward to going to Miniso to buy fancy things and maybe a dress or two because why not and what Ope of Cowrywise said; "You’re a spec, pamper yourself today"

While I may not be forthcoming with the final episode of this series as early as you think, I am working on splitting my time after work hours to draft something no matter how little until a full blog post is made. Promises! Hold me to this one.

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