F O M O -The Relationship Version

         Sometimes our relationships are our safe and happy place. I have always considered it a place to truly be who you are and have no inhibitions whatsoever. Some of you have hoped and prayed for your relationship to sail smoothly and never have to end heck a good number wishes it blows them straight to the altar!     Fear not you are not alone...

 Show me someone who hasn't suffered from FOMO

        For a long long time, I ignored all the red flags because I thought I would never find another person that was good enough for me and I would never be enough for another person too. This was where I started to suffer the condition. Its called F O M O {Fear of Moving on}. I kept thinking if I ended things or agreed to end things I will regret that I let something so beautiful yet toxic go down the drain like that. Many nights I cried and said to myself the end of this has got to be more and better I mean even the bible says better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof. I have yet strayed forgive me...

             The fear of moving is the paralytic anxiety you experience before or after a major change occurs in your life - in this case, your relationship.

A survey of people who have been said to break up despite their seemingly good relationship show that 40-50% of them give up and may never be able to carry on with their social, academic, family, work and other activities because they lost the zeal, passion, courage or strength to continue running their lives after their partners left them. For weeks and months after there was an exchange of the cliche "I can't go on with this relationship," I still wallowed in a self-inflicted misery. I said maybe if I stayed more miserable- sobbing, starving, staying back from work on some days, shirking my duties, substituting mental alertness for an empty head most days, closing myself in and not talking to anyone about it and other things I can not even bring myself to say less you all take me off the high pedestal you have placed me on I would eventually be able to let go and continue my somewhat newly uneventful life. C'mon this meant no more long calls talking about each others day, no putting up random goofy pictures of bae, no texting I love you or saying I love you after a convo to my man, no more shared secrets etc. A girl has got to feel the pain. The cold truth surfaced when I realized my life had backpedalled and I was sinking into depression faster than I could say, Jack. I am not and wasn't in my 40's yet else I would have called it a mid-life crisis but slowly and steadily it became a crisis situation.

        The option of seeing a therapist was waved in my face on more than one occasion but then half of my friends eventually stepped up to said 'Shrink' position and gradually I fought my way out of depression. Until you have suffered the fear of moving on in just any area of your life relationship included you would not realize how wonderful the life you live is and how happiness can be underrated. I can write this now because after such a long time of suffering from FOMO I have given myself the mental pat on the back and I can say I am in a much better place.

But just like there is always medications to every health conditions there are just a few things to get you through this as well;

·        Experience and feel through the 5 stages of grief. Don't dare to skip any one of them{denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance}.

·        Think of the many wonderful qualities you possess and how much someone else will get to miss out on knowing a wonderful person like you when the time is right.

·        Get medical help from a therapist, talk to someone or get you friends like mine who are naturally born shrinks.

·        Avoid going to places, doing things or seeing things that remind you of the other person or trigger memories if you then find yourself in any of this situation breathe, breathe again, smile, cry some if you want, then just like you were before this incidence try to get back to your happy time. You have more mind power than you can ever know so try to wield it in this case.

·         Never settle for less, if something doesn't work for you don't overthink put in your best still and if it's not still enough leave. You will find someone better because you deserve better.

·         Finally, Kings and Queens do not halt your life for anyone. You deserve to be happy always.

I always said writing about relationships and its many ups and downs was something I never saw myself doing not now not in the future but see me!  then what kind of lifestyle blogger will I be if I never let you in on some relationship hacks. I hope you have read this piece, consumed it to full capacity and you're ready to take full possession of your beautiful life

CHEERS

Your Favourite Blogger girl,

Helen Dami 💕