TO ALL THE BOYS THAT EVER LOVED ME
Some days you just wake up, and you know today will be the day I will write something I have bottled up for a while and you have no clue why. You certainly don't get this feeling every day but you know its time to talk from the heart. This was the day four days ago when I started this letter. 'This post' - it will bullshit some theories and best believe take some boldness of me but what’s a blogger who's not tough to say "it is what it is"?
10th March 2020
My Dad's Best Sofa
My Father's House
To all the boys that ever loved me,
Growing into my kind of woman has been eventful and the persistence to ward off suitors of all ages and sizes has been a skill I have developed with my age. In a world where every boy thinks girls are the worst at scheming and calculating and will never outrightly make their intentions known so they can mooch off them, I am the exception. Writing this letter made me realize that more than half the love interest I have not pursued were people my age or a little above my age who had no shot because of my attraction to the older folks. I have a thing for older guys call me something cliche but being with someone who in most cases because I’m not about to dispute the fact that age is just a number thinks ten steps ahead of your two steps has intrigued me. I always thought and still think dating boys my age is such a bore and cause for an unnecessary headache. Could it be the fact of not being mature enough or less intellectually inclined babies who want nothing but gooey feelings and will bolt at the first sight of trouble or real-life issues? Don't get me started on the part where I have to deal with my sensitivity issues and that of another infant man. I think deep down it is way more, this is my bias and I am sorry, not sorry about the way this sounds. Now that I am bold enough to talk about it; all of the hypothesis I needed was in my last relationship where I had let realism go to the bay and decided what gives! The growing part of the boy that needed a bit more adventure dumped my sorry ass and moved on quick it felt like whiplash. One minute I was nursing a sore broken heart the next minute I realized it just wasn't worth my pain and time and as the theory further tested boy was off to brandishing a new conquest in no time. I am not a misandrist but boys(men) need some growing up before they can ever settle.
Dear boys, of all the love interest that have decided to stick to something platonic with me these days, a quick survey has shown these guys are at least 7 years older and have not been quick to dismiss me even though I didn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with them. Now shoot me already but that’s some maturity guys my age can never handle. The pros of being with you might have outweighed that of being with someone older as we as youngsters could have been spontaneous enough to wear matching embarrassing PJs, munch on loads of junk food and binge watch old movies in bed all day or do cliche things couples our age will do but at this stage, spontaneity would be something I preferred to do in certain areas of my life and not my love life. In lieu, I would stick with someone who'd think this preposterous and opt for a fancy dinner where we get doled up and seat facing each other talking real business and planning towards a big goal or dream. I would choose to be on the receiving end of being spoilt and pampered to shits because I have had enough of taking care of boys and just this one last time I prefer to be taken care of. I prefer to be spoken to like an equal with an adept understanding of what men think like and what goes on in their heads. I want a lot of things I am almost certain at this point you could never give me.
After Love whats next?
As rhetorical as I would leave that I know love is a beautiful thing but it is never enough on its own. My theory might not particularly exist to some girls because they found love in a man that’s just a few months older not some light years ahead so excuse it this one time. I am exactly where I started about a year ago. Right in the middle too far from all my love dreams and not close enough to want to be with anyone for fear that my poor heart might just give out this time around. When the time is right I am just about to settle for a man that is a ladies' dream and a father's nightmare if you know what I mean (😉)
This is about the unrequited love that was and the fact that I care about you but just never wanted or want to be with you. This is all the closure you need to finally close the chapter where I starred.
To all the boys that ever loved me, I can’t say I loved you all back but thank you next!
Yours that never was
Helen
10th March 2020
My Dad's Best Sofa
My Father's House
To all the boys that ever loved me,
Growing into my kind of woman has been eventful and the persistence to ward off suitors of all ages and sizes has been a skill I have developed with my age. In a world where every boy thinks girls are the worst at scheming and calculating and will never outrightly make their intentions known so they can mooch off them, I am the exception. Writing this letter made me realize that more than half the love interest I have not pursued were people my age or a little above my age who had no shot because of my attraction to the older folks. I have a thing for older guys call me something cliche but being with someone who in most cases because I’m not about to dispute the fact that age is just a number thinks ten steps ahead of your two steps has intrigued me. I always thought and still think dating boys my age is such a bore and cause for an unnecessary headache. Could it be the fact of not being mature enough or less intellectually inclined babies who want nothing but gooey feelings and will bolt at the first sight of trouble or real-life issues? Don't get me started on the part where I have to deal with my sensitivity issues and that of another infant man. I think deep down it is way more, this is my bias and I am sorry, not sorry about the way this sounds. Now that I am bold enough to talk about it; all of the hypothesis I needed was in my last relationship where I had let realism go to the bay and decided what gives! The growing part of the boy that needed a bit more adventure dumped my sorry ass and moved on quick it felt like whiplash. One minute I was nursing a sore broken heart the next minute I realized it just wasn't worth my pain and time and as the theory further tested boy was off to brandishing a new conquest in no time. I am not a misandrist but boys(men) need some growing up before they can ever settle.
Dear boys, of all the love interest that have decided to stick to something platonic with me these days, a quick survey has shown these guys are at least 7 years older and have not been quick to dismiss me even though I didn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with them. Now shoot me already but that’s some maturity guys my age can never handle. The pros of being with you might have outweighed that of being with someone older as we as youngsters could have been spontaneous enough to wear matching embarrassing PJs, munch on loads of junk food and binge watch old movies in bed all day or do cliche things couples our age will do but at this stage, spontaneity would be something I preferred to do in certain areas of my life and not my love life. In lieu, I would stick with someone who'd think this preposterous and opt for a fancy dinner where we get doled up and seat facing each other talking real business and planning towards a big goal or dream. I would choose to be on the receiving end of being spoilt and pampered to shits because I have had enough of taking care of boys and just this one last time I prefer to be taken care of. I prefer to be spoken to like an equal with an adept understanding of what men think like and what goes on in their heads. I want a lot of things I am almost certain at this point you could never give me.
After Love whats next?
As rhetorical as I would leave that I know love is a beautiful thing but it is never enough on its own. My theory might not particularly exist to some girls because they found love in a man that’s just a few months older not some light years ahead so excuse it this one time. I am exactly where I started about a year ago. Right in the middle too far from all my love dreams and not close enough to want to be with anyone for fear that my poor heart might just give out this time around. When the time is right I am just about to settle for a man that is a ladies' dream and a father's nightmare if you know what I mean (😉)
This is about the unrequited love that was and the fact that I care about you but just never wanted or want to be with you. This is all the closure you need to finally close the chapter where I starred.
To all the boys that ever loved me, I can’t say I loved you all back but thank you next!
Yours that never was
Helen
Hmmm. This is interesting
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