SAPIOSEXUAL??

      I was eight years old when I had my first crush, he was by far the fairest of them all in the class of 26 and the most intelligent but I figured I liked the part where he knew almost all the Macmillan word problems of areas of objects and basic algebra was not a feat for him more than he was a sight for my sore eyes every single day of school. Don't ask me how I survived those ridiculous word problems at that age because God knows I flunked the sums even though my math teacher was my lesson teacher. Don't blame me we can't always be so good that early puh-lease. The eight-year-old me definitely didn't know there was a reason I liked Jahdiel that much and moved on to crushing on David because he was more intelligent than Jahdiel when I switched to a different arm of the class. I couldn't have had the mental power to deal with thinking about why I liked them at that age. Growing up it only worsened but as covert, as you know I can be I promise I never slipped and let any of the objects of affections know I liked them heck thought of them even. Instead, I honed my skills to be as good as my best girl Emem, she is by far the smartest person I know today, tomorrow and the day after..... I made sure to stay committed to my guy friends that were uber smart and save the fleeting attraction to the ones that I could rival their IQ if I tried.

      When you think about what turns you on, and what attracts you to other human beings, romantically and pragmatically — what comes to mind? While most people will automatically have their mind turn to the way someone laughs, or the colour of their eyes, there are those in life who do not focus on those components when choosing a partner.

The Urban Dictionary defines a Sapiosexual person as someone who finds intelligence and the human mind to be the most sexually attractive feature for a potentially sexual relationship.

 Other definitions will go as far as saying a sapiosexual might be someone who finds the human mind intelligence sexually arousing but for the purpose of staying within the bounds of the x-rated version of today's post we had better stick with the urban dictionary meaning. Before now people had no idea why they felt some certain way about some people and totally differently about other people and were as ignorant as  my eight year old self why PERSON A elicited pleasures and feelings without even trying in some cases and they could actually be with PERSON B all their life but they never came close to eliciting such feelings even if they tried. Because it is so much more than liking someone who uses big words and has read all the books you know these will probably tell you how much of a sapiosexual you are;

      1. Intelligence and deep conversation inspires you and turns you on.

While most love a great conversation, you require it daily from the person you choose. When you hear someone talking about their thoughts, and the things that they question or know in life, you not only admire them, but you find yourself attracted to them on a level unlike any other.

      2. Credentials don’t matter. When looking for potential partners, intelligence is always at the top of your list.

You dig deeper into human beings. If there isn’t much below the surface, you find yourself bored and uninterested. You can’t even fathom being with someone like that for the rest of your life. You crave intelligence, to you it is exciting, and it takes precedence over what someone does for a living, or how much money they have.

      3. You love debating.

If someone challenges you to a debate, you find yourself drawn to them on a deeper level. In them, you discover a counterpart who will always expand your mind, and who doesn’t shy away from using their knowledge to test or entice you.

     4. Physical attraction is great, but the conversation is better.

Yes, you need to be physically attracted to someone in order to be with them. However, if they are simply just a pretty face, you tire easily. To you, the conversation is key, and no matter how attractive someone is, if they cannot hold one, and if they cannot deepen your knowledge, they aren’t worth your time.

     5. The more you get to know someone, the more attracted to them you are.

While most people often find themselves enthralled with other right away, you ease into relationships and attractions When you slowly discover someone’s wit, someone smarts, their emotional intelligence, the way they speak, the way they resolve conflicts, your attraction to them grows. You are slow and steady.

      6. You hate small talk.

You feel physically uncomfortable when someone cannot hold a deep conversation with you. Small talk is a thing of nightmares, and you would much rather sit in silence than have to answer to someone’s comments on the weather.

      7. You are extremely turned off by foolishness or brutism.

You cannot stand those who need to assert themselves through aggression or over the top gestures. You have no tolerance for men or women who are foolish, and who unravel easily. You find it attractive when someone can meet difficult situations with poise, and with intellect. I was having a conversation with a friend sometime this week and I emphasized how I never understood why people resort to violence to clear issues. Beats me every time.

     8. Bad grammar is one of your biggest turn-offs.

If you start to talk to someone, and they text you things like “Hey what r u doing?” or use short forms, you cannot stand it. You are automatically turned off, and you cannot continue talking to them any longer. I can't ever deal with this God knows.

    9. You are always looking to learn.

The thought of sitting at home watching documentaries on the Universe and things you are still learning about is ideal to you. You absolutely love anything that expands your mind, and you crave opportunities that provide you with the ability to learn and grow.

Thank you, Dee, for being the muse for today's post

I hope you'll have a lit weekend. I am trying 😄

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Helen Dami 💗