Things I have learned/am learning to do at 30

Age is just a number; we must have heard this a gazillion times to date, but when you are 30 or have crossed that threshold, you are more likely resigned to the fact that your life should have bloomed by now. As a woman, the added pressure of your ticking biological clock is the stark reminder for you to get your life together, procreate or not, or settle down in the quintessential white picket fence home or again not. We forget to breathe and let life run its course and are so consumed with our 'AGE'. I hate to be the one to break it to you again, but you are doing great and, truly, age is nothing but a number; or at least that's what I am learning to accept these days. I had hoped this intro wouldn't sound depressing because I want to bring you under the same umbrella as mine, convincing you to let your life start or continue at 30. I plan to tell you all the fabulous things I have picked up or am picking up in a bid to show you that if it was harder in your 20's, then you should stick around and try it again in your 30's.  

A few months ago I started learning how to drive again for the 4th time, maybe, and it's finally stuck. I don't know what made it hard to do 4 years ago or 6 years or 2 years ago when I tried. I had all the training and help, but it was just hard. At 30, I have picked it up faster and finally can acquiesce to the fact that driving can be fun. I still won't to ply major highways yet because I am such a chicken on most days, but I can get from point A to B perfectly. Since we are talking wheels, I should just chip it in now that I am learning how to ride a bicycle too. I randomly asked a couple of my friends if they could ride a bike and got just 2 or 3 yes' before I finally came to this conclusion: growing up as a Nigerian kid, extracurricular or other forms of activities that were not primarily school work were never encouraged. I couldn't swim until last year, had little to no idea of any other things kids my age that year did because I had school and after school lessons after lunch every day, and that was about it for most of my childhood. Hence riding a bicycle was not really part of any agenda. Learning to do it as an adult is no fun and the fact that I need training wheels at my big old age takes the cake any day. Another day I will talk about the falls and horrendous screams that precede them. Well now that I have gotten past the first and second hand embarrassment, I am happy to announce that I am learning how to ride a bicycle. This is an investment I am going to pay forward because I got a new bike, helmet, and training wheels for free. 

Moving on from that, I found my way back to books and oh the joy. I struggled with creating a balance for 5 years and lost the most beautiful inspiration I get for my life from books. I started reading books again, and I am so happy that my bibliophilic muscle memory kicked in just in time. I am reading my 4th book for the year and my library is growing magnificently. Hiiting 30 has broadened my financial growth mindset. I understood the stock market and am catching up to investing at 30. It's the ghetto out there so you will understand that while savings are great, investing is a better way to build long term wealth. I am not where I want to be yet financially, no way close even, but poco a poco I am learning a better way to manage my finances. Another important lesson 30 has taught me is not to take things personally, and if you struggle with people pleasing and the need to do right by everyone, this is something you need to learn. I remind myself that nothing other people do is because of me and everyone has their own reality. It's unraveled many other pros like not getting unnecessarily agitated or upset by the actions of other people and ultimately minding my business. Since Africans are born in Africa another thing I am picking that myAfrican roots didn't afford me is winter/snow activities. Although I will confess my progress is rather slow because I hate the falls but skiing and snowboarding are very high on my list for the next winter season. Fishing takes the piss but wohoo see who is learning something they made fun of for years. It is very calming if anything and my mind doesn't race as much so it is a win-win for me. This list will go on and on but the very message I want to pass today is that I felt my life truly started at 30 so I know for certain that yours can too. 

30 doesn't mean stop, think of it like an age for recalibration and introspection. Remember the traffic red light doesn't stay red for too long, and the green light comes right after showing you that at every stop, there is a need to keep going. It can be hard if you deal with the pressure that comes with worrying about aging which makes you forgot that you can actually be enjoying life irrespective of your phantom years. Hoping this is a wake up call for YOU and you embrace aging like fine wine with all the grace it comes with.

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Helen Damilola 💖