2023 - YET ANOTHER YEAR OF ADULTING

I always keep my promises, it's the one thing I will always do because when you have my word you indeed have my word. That is why I have delivered on my happy new year post promise even though it has taken everything in me to write this early and finish it in time for the new year. I know how much people beat themselves up about the new year because this used to be me until a year ago. If I can do anything to make it less hard it will be to tell you that we are all in it together and the grass isn't as green. It's just astroturf. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Adulthood is something most of us aren't and weren't prepared for. I talk about how most people I have met in the last few months take on too much responsibility that they forget they are young. It's the culture here but the sweet thing is that they are somewhat prepared for the role(s) they take on. I still don't think kids should be saddled with so many responsibilities but who am I to say otherwise. Where I come from, on the other hand, it is perfectly normal for people older than 18 to still live with their parents and be looked after which is why some of us are not prepared for the rude awakening that is adulthood. We get to the party way too late when we eventually have to learn to pick our slack and be our own parents. We have it even harder because our world is a lot of colors between black and white so we are forced to work twice as hard for the bare minimum except you are a trust fund baby. Doesn't spare the fact that being an adult is so much work and dedicated planning and bills on bills. It's 2023 already and all I can think of is how did we get here so fast? It felt like yesterday when I was pep-talking myself into 2022 and trying on my big girl panties after a few months of moving to my new apartment. It is even more surreal to think that a whole 365 days went by and all I am debating now is if I learned anything from last year.

Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was if you'd get new fancy new shoes for your birthday, to be more extravagant maybe a bike or if you could eat a copious amount of sugar anytime. Being an adult is overrated and I mean it so don't be fooled by being able to make your own decisions and having no parents telling you what to do. adulthood is a responsibility and if you ask me it makes bikes and sugar cravings look excellent. I am not even going to pretend that adulting did not kick my behind this year. This is a better way to look at it if you still need to manifest your entire vision board or 2022 goals and plan. At least I have chosen to look at it from his vantage point and damn vertigo because I will keep looking. I have gone through the entire year in a heartbeat and I am happy. I am the happiest I have been this year; severely lacking but deliriously happy. So maybe I learned a lesson after all and this year just taught me how happiness and friendship and boundless love.

The new year is by far the hardest time of the year because of the angst we are liable to carry into it from a bad Christmas celebration or lack of sleep during the holidays or going back to the job you hate the most. It is also stressful because there are a million things to do or get started on which have to be done all perfectly to avoid a repeat of the same drama you lived through the previous year. Believe me, it is a vicious cycle of regret and unforgiveness. Take me for example, I tried to have so much fun for my first Christmas here but somehow the plans backfired because it got so cold, going out was like a war against life. When the weather settled, I lost the urge to step outside and my skin was not having it either. I am suffering from the bad side effects of my acne medications and my face is not a sight to behold. So there goes the summary of my first winter break in three dull lines surely I will make up for it during the spring break. I have caught a Christmas eve flight back home today to nurse my skin irritation to health and prepare for work in a few days. I have not gone to the gym in a minute and my excuse is everyone gains weight in college. It is very stressful and there isn't even enough time for exercise ergo the weight gain but who knows what will happen in January. In keeping you abreast of everything, I start the bulk of my research work in January and I am taking a robotics class to test how great my IQ is because who willingly commits to doing so much math? Schoolwork should be easier this spring since I survived three months of work and school. I am stretching my faith and belief in 2023 and I have just started on my vision board since I want to be more strategic with my plans this year but no pressure I will breathe through the year. I never understood the fuss behind vision boards and goal sheets but after listening to someone talk about how much they were challenged to achieve goals quarterly for the last 5 years I have become a believer and will try this out with as many prayers as gusto. If you feel like the old me used to feel at the start of every new year, a vision board or better still a spreadsheet highlighting all you want to do in 2023 is a good idea. If any of the above will spike your anxiety levels then wing it and try the other option I am great at - blindly trusting in life to work out

Taylor Swift said; "Someday when you get where you are going, you will know that it was you and the people who love you that put you there" so this year don't underplay the love and support your friends give you. My woman wrote me a love letter yesterday and after reading it for the 20th time, I marveled again at how much love has helped me this year. Love lifted me and made an army of supporters who weren't even my family this year and oh! how I love love. The world is a much better place with love so I admonish you to embrace it this year. Finally, you are doing great and I see how hard you are working, all that remains is the faith to hang on until you hit the corner your blessings are stashed. Difficult roads always lead to beautiful destinations and your positive affirmations are what will keep you going.

Now let's raise a tall glass of wine and officially welcome ourselves to another year we are donning our adult hats, capes, and gloves and just making the bag. 

P.S. I am trying to document my life more this year so I might make 2023 in bits of newsletters from my mouth to my work schedule's ears.

Your favorite adult in the circle of life 

Helen Damilola 🎆