Was it not MAY the 4th a week ago - NEWSLETTER 05

We almost did not have this month's meeting due to a gazillion reasons centred around my new work schedule. You will find that this month's post is relatively short and straight to the point since your girl has a lot of work to do and my head space is cluttered with much more than it can carry. However, I realized this is my commitment to you and I have been obligated to check up on you as I have promised to do so every month. 

As you can see, I am still not sure how it was the 4th a few days ago and now the month is drawing closer to the end. I want to whine and moan as usual about how I have had little time to do anything this year so far but best believe this is the perfectionist in me. The logical part of me knows I have outdone myself and covered an entire year's goal in a few months and I am so proud. I switched roles this month and it's given me access to work from home but I have realized that a toxic part of me misses getting dressed and going to work every day at 8am even though I hated every single part of it when I was doing it. It has now become incumbent on my mental health that I switch as often as I can between heading out at 8am every day and laying up in bed working on some days. The modern world calls it hybrid which I am perfectly okay with as long as the modern workplace accepts that this 'hybrid' thing should be recognized and employers don't have to subject their employees to unending days of morning labour. Again as I never fail to mention, I am a plebeian blogger with the intuition of a wanna-be legislator. 

I hope life has been fair and you are not as stuck up as I get when I am bummed because things didn't work out the way they should. Sadly, I was on a roll for Q1 and when May came around I guess it said 'Now it is someone else's turn you gotta sit this one out' since the month started with a struggle and has knocked me down up till the half of it. I am more expectant of good news towards the end. For what it's worth, I stumbled on a post I made on the blog in 2020; a few weeks shy of my birthday and as usual it was my constant yap about my life and how I was living a better life that year. I also talked about my bucket list and how practical it was given my stuck-up and conservative life. Life has been somewhat fair because looking back to when I made that post and where I am now, I have come up in life or how do they say it. It may not look like a lot but I am well on the path to making something out of my life. Here's me saying even though May sucked, I am a firm believer that that's all it's got and I still have 7 months this year to kick ass. Call it a piece of extended advice but if we are able to see disappointments and setbacks for what they are, believing that they are as fickle and temporary then we wouldn't be so hung up on them. Just like Louis Pasteur quipped, the secret that leads us to our goals is the strength of tenacity, the constant ability to see the glass full all the time because you are working so hard to fill it up even though it has remained empty for a long time. Continue on the path of growth by learning, asking questions and discerning every step you take but most importantly never accept any limitations.

Graduation season is fast coming to an end and the highlight of this season was two things: the bold colours graduates across the country wore and the gazillion dollars House of CB and other high-end formal wear dress stores amassed. If you know me you will understand that I don't fuss over things like this but I very much intend to fuss over my graduation. I have a rather vague design of what I want to wear even if it's still a year away and I already know what shoes and bag I need to complete the ensemble. In a very straight-to-the-point way, I intend to break the bank for that day being my very first-ever graduation. Please stay tuned. A part of me recalls that shortly after graduation season comes the hot summer season and since I have no concrete plans I will do a lot of 'I hear of a thing, I am there' which is in simply Yoruba speak, 'Mo gbo mo ya'. I will be in a lot of places and hopefully have so much fun to last my entire final year of school because as the going is looking, it is getting tougher. I am especially happy for my friends in the parts of the world where the sun doesn't shine, I will advise you to harness the heat as much as you can before you venture back into Antarctica. I cannot relate to this preposterous life so excuse my smugness and lest I forget prayers prayers sorrow. 

Finally but not the last you will hear of it, I have started a mental plan for my trip to Amsterdam even though the financial plan has not even been hatched. Call it a dream vacation but this dream has got to come true as soon as possible because I fear I will go mad with these fantasies of living in Europe. It is not as serious as you think but it is serious so when I start crowdfunding I need you to be led by God or man to sow generously. You will say why Amsterdam, I wish I even knew maybe I would be able to fight this incessant urge to pack my bag and go where they did not send me. Someday after I have gone on this trip and returned, I will maybe have a clear revelation on why it had to be here but for now, I am winging it and saving all of my monies for it. I hope when you start off in June, your summer body is bodying and you are ready to rock and roll. If you are like me that have a bag ready to hop anything to be where it is happening, may we find these locations and have all the fun we want to have. This thought has not left my big head since I started this post, how are we 11 short days of ending the month, May is supposed to be January's twin huh.

I have referenced the link to the post I mentioned mid-post here BIRTHDAY MUSINGS - My Bucket List so you can read it if you want. 

Doubting Thomas

Helen Damilola 💓